my world is made up of six islands joined by bridges. the first island is pure unclaimed wilderness. thats the domain of Goblin, and the internal safety staff. goblin lives in the bog. its full of frogs and hidy holes. theres giant trees and rivers  and lakes all over the island. the only building is a cabin on stilts in the bog. this is where keeper and the safety squad live. its a cozy place filled with rustic furniture and cozy places to sit and read. thier island is conected to the others by log and rope briges.

the second is a wasteland. its full of broken ruins. its desolate and barren. the streams are dry and barren. theres no life here, no people, plants, or animals. you can see the ruins by crossing its rusted and crumbling bridges.

the next island is split into three districts. theres a large palace in the center modled after versailles. it is full of those who think themselves too good for life. its a very beautiful graveyard haunted by those who wish to be dead. it is surrounded by a market styled after victorian high streets. its full of noise and colors. little shops here and there. this is a place of life and is host to some of our more social alters. the third district is farm land. cozy cottages and rolliung hills. garden plots hidden amongst pine trees and wild plants. its home to kitty and old man jankins. the bridges are made of pine bords and are wide and sturdy.

the fourth island is metal, looking more like a federation ship from star trek than anything organic. sleek chrome buildings in domes shapes and light walkways make up the bulk of the island.  theres always a sort of hum there. it tastes like metal so don’t lick it.  the cyborgs live there and the bridges are just teleporter pads.

thr fifth island is cloked in storm. big black clouds block it from veiw. it has no bridges but somtimes new friends show up on the shore and goblin and keeper have to go get them in a row boat.

the final island stands in the center  of the other five. its small with only a large stone tower in the center. that tower leads to the front. its got a very cozy library where the memories live, a veiwing room so that life can be observed, and the control room where thoise who are running the body at the time can sit and work.  theres   ivy and climbing roses on the outside of the tower and a gravel walkway lined with lavender. the bridges are made of living vines that spread out a walkway when someone approaches.

and thats it. thats a brief tour of our world. it gets pretty busy in here sometimes but mostly its just home.

written by bean [six year old girl living bean plant in human form.] edited lightly by Bay.

i realized today that i miss the abuse i suffered from my family. its been nearly a year of attempted no contact. I say attempted because they keep love bombing me every few months or so by offering money, trips, and trying to get those around me to pass on messages, it almost worked too. talking with bay this morning i relized i miss their abuse. I miss them telling me what I feel and think. I miss them controling every aspect of my life. where i worked, if i went to school, what plans i could make, how i spoke to doctors, even what i told my therapist. I miss it, because now i dont know whats real anymore because they arent there to tell me any more.

I learned very quickly growing up that I was a liar. that nothing i said was true, and that the only truth was what my parents told me was true. they told me everything that i knew was a lie. As i got older they started taking me to therapy only to come in every session and tell my therapist everything i said was a lie and that they couldnt manage me. they said i was violent and manipulative, and while i dont know about calling a ten year old manipulative i could be violent.

i learned very young to bottle everything and go numb. it dosent hurt if you cant feel anything. but there is only so long you can be screamed at before you scream back. I learned quickly that i was too small and weak to fight them so i screamed until i couldnt and when that wasnt enough i started hurting myself. i would find a small spot on my body and pick it till it bled. I wouldnt eat more than two meals a week without vomiting up any extra calories - maybe if i was skinny my mom would love me. I was bullied at school for being weird and abused at home for not being perfect. it all came to a head in sixth grade when walking home from school. my brother and i would cross a highway overpass to get home. I tried to jump the guard rail only to be pulled back by my older brother and marched home. I wasnt taken to a hospital. I wasnt even asked why. the only thing my dad asked was "is this going to be a  problem"  I said no and was left at that. my parents didnt care if i died so long as it wasnt a problem for them. This marked the begining of a new era for me. if they didnt care what i did so long as it didnt reflect on them then id become the liar they always said i was.

i started sneaking around. Id hide my netbook in my room and stay up late online. it started out as just playing online games, pac man, tetres, line rider, and other online arcade kinda games. Then i found a chat room.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

It took less than an hour to make a profile and become popular. I was getting hundreds of messages a day and would spend hours reading and responding to each one with care. some were mundane but most i now know were grooming. these old men all wanted to know about me, my life, my struggles, and my dreams. I told one once about a suicide attempt i had and he was so concerned for me. he gave me his phone number and i would text and call him all the time. He loved me. I had his number saved as daddy in my phone. he introduced me to his friends online and we would stay up all night playing games.

they helped me make a skype account and on skype we would play our games. they loved to tell me what to wear and how to touch myself. They loved watching me get off on their kindness. A simple praise was all it took to keep me hooked and compliant. Then we started meeting in person and i would trade my body for cell phone charms and someone to talk to that gave a shit.

everything was going well until i got cought by my parents. they took my computer and changed my phone number. they went through my texts and emails. they took me to my councilor and cried at ne for an hour. i didnt date again till I was twenty and moved out with her immediately  only to gain a new abuser but thats a diffrent story for a diffrent day.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I dont know if im a liar anymore. I try to say the things i can confirm. but i still dont trust myself with out my parents telling me what i am. How can i trust someone who for their entire life has been a liar?

lightly edited by Bay.

we were never wanted as a child by our parents and while it showed over the year it really showed during birthdays and holidays. my older brother got everything he asked for. he got legos, parties, trips, fancy books, and so much more. I would get a china doll i couldn’t play with, a barbie (until i turned 13 and was too old for dolls), a book or two, and maybe if i was lucky we could go to dinner at my brothers favorite restaurant, and that’s if i even got to celebrate at all. most years i got 20$ from my grandparents and an "oh its your birthday? happy birthday" from my parents. thats right folks, my parents don’t know when I'm born and no I'm not adopted. i had to bring my birth certificate to college with me because my birthdate was wrong on so many forms that admissions wasn't sure i was a real person.

its not that they forgot me that hurts, its that the only time they got my birthday right in 28 years was the one where i went no contact. that one hurts the most. more than all the years they promised me gifts and parties and i never got them, more than the years i bought my own gifts and cake to celebrate, more than them inviting someone who made me uncomfortable to a dinner i didn’t  want at a place I didn't like, it hurts because it proves that they always knew they just never cared. and i get it you had your perfect baby boy first and the second was a mistake, but I’ve bent over backwords and twisted in knots to make them love me and it just was never going to happen. it was never going to happen no matter what i did. they still dont love me or want me, they only remembered me this year because i left and that effects their image as good parents.

i wish there had been a package for me at christmas or on my birthday but there never was because i just don’t matter to my parents. i do matter to my partners though. they celebrate evrything i do. they never miss a chance to show me they love me and they tell it to me too. i love the family we’ve made for ourselves.

writen by echo and raven. lightly edited by Bay(partner)

Raven: 16, punk, rebel with too many causes, burnt out gifted and talented kid, and uses Fae/Faer pronouns.  I'm a protector of sorts, for a long time i was the only one able to feel any emotions at all, let alone anger. I'm the "rule breaker" I cuss, fight, and refuse to be put down for simply living as a full person. I like poetry, drag, and punk music.

Kitty: hello, I'm Kitty. I'm a red headed Appalachian women, and I run a tight ship. I make sure everyones on time, put together, and present throughout the day. Im not sure what all I'll contribute to this, but there it is.

Toby: 45 he/him. Im a last resort protector, I will do whatever is necessary to survive. I am not a good person, if the body i protect is in any danger I will not hesitate to protect it by any means necessary. Violance is never my first action but is also never off the table. I have CPTSD and while im learning to live in peace Im still always ready for the next time somone puts a gun in my face.

Leif: all pronouns, age isnt real and neither is time. ive been called a sentiant bong rip, and honestly thats pretty true. im just a chill stoner trying too keep everyone mellow enough to not have a stroke.

Echo: it/its or they/them. i am a shadow, I take the place of our now dorment host and keep the aperance of us all being one person. I love to collect bones, rocks, and jars. My favorite bones are teeth. I love space and the stars, and the depths of the ocen. I am mostly just a spooky little shadow who likes to watch and listen.

Rowan: 28 he/him trans man, dorment.

There are many more of us but these are the ones who wanted to make this in the first place. If anyone else wishes to post they'll give a brief  intro at the start of their post.  The last thing we will leave you with is a brief  list of our disablites.

Disablities: POTS, EDS, Fybromyalgia, chronic fatige, chronic pain, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, DID, PTSD, CPTSD, and several other conditions we are still being tested for.

thanks for checking us out we'll do our best to post regularly.

All the best,

echo and the soup pot system

editor's note: this post has been edited for spelling clarity. some posts may not be in the future so please be patient with us.